Here’s another tale by my story-telling south Louisiana friend Dave Beatty.

 

Lake Pontchartrain, located between New Orleans and the North Shore, is a large natural lake (thirty-four by twenty-four miles) connected to the Gulf of Mexico.  Here is the rub; the only way to get out of Lake Pontchartrain by boat and into the gulf is through a narrow opening less than a half mile wide.

 

On a wonderful weekend sailing trip back in the 1980’s it happened.  We got lost on Lake Pontchartrain.  The forty-foot sailboat was large enough to accommodate all of us but small enough to make it easy to operate.  In the true tradition of sailing, one of the guys (call him Bud) had purchased a sexton, very proud of his new toy and anxious to use it.

 

I say toy because by the 1980’s, navigation using a device known as a Loran had become standard practice.  GPS, the truly great location finder was already in early use and soon to be the standard.  The sexton had been a proven location finder for hundreds of years and a proud sailor is one he who can establish a good location by using one. It does however take lots of math and steady hands to get an accurate reading. 

 

As the weekend and fun (spelled partying and lots of it) continued, Bud studied the instructions for his new toy and began taking sun readings.  He would go below, do lots of calculating and then come back on deck to take more readings.  This went on for some time as the rest of us partied.  Bud finally came on deck to give us our true location.

 

Appearing very solemn as we eagerly awaited his pronouncement, he said, “Bow your heads and show a little respect.  According to my calculations we are smack in the middle of St. Louis Cathedral.”

 

Well that put us over the top, we all started laughing so hard that several on board nearly fell over board and a couple of the women may have even wet themselves.  I think I did.

 

We kept laughing all weekend, especially when someone would quip something like, “Hey Bud, have we made it to Canal Street yet?”

 

So how do you get lost on Lake Pontchartrain?  Easy.  After studying the instructions above, simply apply alcohol to all on board and then have lots of fun as you wait for the inevitable results.    

 

David Beatty
david686@charter.net

 

http://www.EricWilder.com